Wow, these last six months have been pretty mind boggling! I'm finding it more and more difficult to identify with the church I chose in 1966. The rigid, oppressive fundamentalism I left to become Catholic seems to have infiltrated and stifled the renewal that made me fall in love with the Catholic Church.
I have been disillusioned, frustrated, angry..just to name a few of my emotions. Like so many others, I wonder what spiritual path I should take. After venting for months about what the hierarchs are doing, I've decided I need to expend my energy elsewhere.
In my prayer time this morning, the words of the Serenity Prayer floated through my mind: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference," While I'm not at the point of accepting what has gone on in the church yet (sexual abuse, despot hierarchs, deaf bishops, creeping infallibility,sexism, genderism etc), I have decided I will not waste any more of my time and effort stewing about these situations. I have chosen to focus on discerning where God is leading me, on my experience of a Loving God, and connecting with my sisters and brothers in Christ.
Another thought that has been bouncing around in my brain lately is the idea that if love is not the foundation for my thoughts, words and deeds, then I need to go back to Christianity 101 (the Sermon on the Mount) for remedial classes. I imagine I will be returning to Christianity 101 many times as my natural tendencies are to be defensive, argumentative, judgmental, and these are some of my better qualities LOL. But, I know in my core that love, rooted in the knowledge that I am loved by Mother/Father God, is the only way to grow spiritually.
Enough for today.
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