Trying to Put It Altogether

Wow, these last six months have been pretty mind boggling! I'm finding it more and more difficult to identify with the church I chose in 1966. The rigid, oppressive fundamentalism I left to become Catholic seems to have infiltrated and stifled the renewal that made me fall in love with the Catholic Church.

I have been disillusioned, frustrated, angry..just to name a few of my emotions. Like so many others, I wonder what spiritual path I should take. After venting for months about what the hierarchs are doing, I've decided I need to expend my energy elsewhere.

In my prayer time this morning, the words of the Serenity Prayer floated through my mind: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference," While I'm not at the point of accepting what has gone on in the church yet (sexual abuse, despot hierarchs, deaf bishops, creeping infallibility,sexism, genderism etc), I have decided I will not waste any more of my time and effort stewing about these situations. I have chosen to focus on discerning where God is leading me, on my experience of a Loving God, and connecting with my sisters and brothers in Christ.

Another thought that has been bouncing around in my brain lately is the idea that if love is not the foundation for my thoughts, words and deeds, then I need to go back to Christianity 101 (the Sermon on the Mount) for remedial classes. I imagine I will be returning to Christianity 101 many times as my natural tendencies are to be defensive, argumentative, judgmental, and these are some of my better qualities LOL. But, I know in my core that love, rooted in the knowledge that I am loved by Mother/Father God, is the only way to grow spiritually.

Enough for today.

Communion

I got so frustrated in Bible Study yesterday. We were discussing receiving the cup, and one JP2 woman gave the standard reason for not receiving from the cup. As I pointed out, Jesus, didn't offer just the bread to the disciples, but the cup as well. Where did we get to the point of believing that by the priest breaking off a piece of the host and putting it in the cup and then consuming it himself that we're following Jesus' example of : This is my body, take it and eat.; this is my blood take it and drink. I felt like I was talking to a brick wall as she repeated the "official line".

Being a God Bearer

I love the way Loving God plants an idea in my mind and heart and then underscores it to make sure I get it. This started with a meditation of Richard Rohr's where he shared that we are bearers of Emmanuel. Today's student meditation from Creighton University hit the same theme. What an awesome responsibility it is to be a God-Bearer, but also what a blessed privilege. Its scary to me to think that my words and actions could affect a person's image of God. I tend to engage my mouth before my brain. I'm also strongly opinionated and can be very outspoken (or pushy) so being God-Bearer is a real challenge to me. OK God, I'm willing...Help! Love you.

Welcome to Jo's Vatican II Catholic Place

Hello,

My name is Jo Lauer and I am new to blogging. I decided to blog to share what I've learned over an incredible faith journey that started over 40 years ago when I became Catholic.

As a convert in the years immediately following Vatican II, I was filled with excitement and was challenged and encouraged by the teachings that flowed from this spirit filled council. Through the Charismatic Renewal, I was led into a personal relationship with the Holy Spirit, Jesus and the Father.

Now, I am struggling daily with disillusionment as I watch what seems to be to be the dismantling of Vatican II...an attempt to replace the emphasis on relationship with a Loving God with again just following the rules and letting the Church do the thinking.

I cannot accept this theology. God has called me into an intimate relationship with Him/Her. This Loving God has guided me through many crises in my life..the breakdown and restoration of my marriage; the cleansing of guilt and self -loathing, the challenges and pain of letting go of ego and admitting my helplessness...the sorrow and life changing experience of loosing my oldest daughter to a drug overdose almost 4 years ago. Dogma and church teaching did not come to my rescue during these times; a Living, Loving, Merciful, Healing, Compassionate God did.

I am deeply troubled by what appears to me to be a march back to pre-Vatican II days, and I invite you who share my feelings to join me here. I also invite those of you who do not share my feelings to join me here that we might hopefully learn from each other.

May this remainder of Advent draw all of us closer to our Loving God.